When Thanksgiving is hard
The holidays can be a mixed bag. For some it’s a time to spend celebrating family. For others it can be a time of grief and loss.
Loss can take many forms. From literal loss of the passing of a loved one to the ambiguous, less visible, losses of relational brokenness and toxic environments, dashed dreams, health issues, emotional struggles, or financial burdens. “Happy Thanksgiving” doesn’t always feel happy. And that’s okay.
Acknowledging those losses, holding space for the emotions that come with them (allowing yourself to feel), and honoring their truth can sometimes provide less anxiety and more peace than the suppressive work of dismissing how hard “Happy Thanksgiving” feels. Living in truth helps your heart and mind align. Living in truth helps you to identify what you need. Living in truth builds self-respect. Living in truth will actually set you free eventually because it helps you identify what steps you need to take to move forward. One step toward healing and wholeheartedness is being honest about what you’re feeling in this season. Life is hard and thankfulness may not come easily.
And also ...
There is a way to acknowledge what is true in this season AND hold gratitude at the same time for those small moments of light that peek through the cracks in our broken places. Both/And. You can hold both if you want to. Holding space for what is true helps your body to know you are not dismissing reality, and also, holding space for the bits of good doesn’t dismiss what is real, but helps your body to experience hope and light and keeps your heart soft in seasons of hardship.
If you find yourself celebrating this week and so excited to spend time with family and loved ones - count that as gift with wholeheartedness, it is such a gift. And for those who are suffering, anxious, or dreading this holiday season - be so gentle with your heart. Let your body’s cues help you identify what you need. It may be solitude. It may be community. It may be a hug. It may be a hot cup of coffee and a good book. It may be a walk in the sun. Whatever it tells you, trust it. Follow though. Lean into inner health. Hold space for the hard and honor it for what it is. And also, look for the bits of light no matter how small, to help keep your heart soft and open as you navigate what it is to be human.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving where you learn self-gratitude, where you honor your needs, what is true for you in the losses, and also glimpse the bits of beauty that peek through the broken places.