Well … here we are. After a year of not a single blog post.

Anyone who used to hang out here with me is long gone. It’s okay. We all needed the break.:)

I won’t rehash all the reasons for sporadic posting because many of them are the same as Two.Freaking.Years.Ago and 6 months before that!

Nothing has changed and yet … everything has changed. The fears are the same but the person I am is totally different.

The last two years have been full of personal growth, soul seeking, mental healing, courage building, gaining a deeper understanding of who I lost and how to get her back. I realized through a painful chain of events that … I was a bit of a lost soul. After a rough decade – a decade of holding it all together and survival – I’d forgotten how to set healthy boundaries. My mind was unhealthy. My spirit was broken. I was resentful and angry and wounded. My counselor said my state of mind was similar to Post Traumatic Stress symptoms. And so, I’ve taken the last couple of years to rediscover what I really want. Who I really am. How to give myself permission. Who knew a counselor/therapist is basically just a doctor for the mind? We go to the body Dr. when things aren’t right … why doesn’t everyone go to the mind Dr. too?! People! We’re all just a little bit cray cray!  We.All.Are.  My first attempt at counseling was not very fruitful – maybe I’ll go into that someday – the second attempt – I was in it for me. Determined to change ME. Change is hard. Looking at your own mess is hard. But the alternative is to stay imprisoned in unhealthy patterns of behavior and thinking – which is the opposite of freedom. And frankly … the only person we CAN change is ourselves. For real. Sounds simple but … maybe we can unpack that another time.


So, back to this blog. One of my greatest fears is getting to the end of my days (which could be any day) and wishing I’d spent them differently. I fear that even more than I fear what my readers will think of my writing. I fear that even more than sharing terrible art. One of the greatest tragedys, I think, is not living the life we’ve been given … whatever that is … really live what we’ve got, ALIVE. Which, I think is one reason my soul died for a while there. I wasn’t living my life, alive. I was living it on other people’s terms, since forever. Waiting for permission. What.a.tragedy. I have so much to say on that … another day.

All this time the new-er nudge to write has not gone away. The life-long desire to become an artist, has not gone away. It’s like a bruise that doesn’t show. You know it’s there because it’s tender, just under the skin. A longing that goes unmet is painful.

The time has come. Enough of the reading, wondering, planning, thinking, and fearing. Truthfully, I’m not ready. I’m not ready for failure … I’m not ready for success either. I know not all will agree with some of my perspectives, I’m okay with that – but the judgement … that’s scary. And I’m afraid of what I may need to sacrifice if this writing dream goes where I hope it will.  I’m guessing fear will just have to be part of the journey. Embracing the fear and doing it anyway, because the greater loss would be to snuff out that still small voice. I believe it’s the fragile voice of my soul. Every time we snuff out that little voice, it dies a little. (Soul care was something I read a lot about in 2014 – ask me for book recommendations. I could give you a whole library).

I imagine this must be what Earnest Hemingway meant when he said, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” So I plan to do just that. Sit down at my keyboard and bleed once a week, every Friday.  There will be reflections, art, photography, insights, lots on ‘what I’m learning.’ Sometimes I can’t know all of these details before I step out and trust that this is part of my story. I have no idea what it’s going to become … but that’s what life is all about isn’t it? A journey of becoming. That’s my goal anyway. I’m taking one more step towards who I want to become. It’s time for me to write. Today. The one day I have. I’m showing up. Finally! Becoming. Living. Alive. No regrets … I’d love it if you’d join me!



  • Jennifer - I am in awe that you have the —– to post this. The honesty. The courage. The vulnerability. And the strength.

    You are a leader and inspiration to those of us who want to be real & take a chance…but are afraid.

  • Julie - Awe Jennifer. I believe we are all hurting people and could use the permission to just.be.broken. I needed someone to support me emotionally and didn’t have that in my life. I guess I hope to give others the permission to be broken and find the help they need to get healthy and free. I think we could all use a little more Grace from each other because we’re all just a little bit crazy and in need of permission. :)

  • Jessie - I 100% completely understand what your talking about. Last year about this time I was diving head first full time into writing with no income to show for it. I FREAKED. I’ve wanted to write my entire life but there was so much fear. But as the year wore on I learned something, writing is sacred. To me, it is. God made my soul and writing is part of that and when I was writing I felt God so near to me (even though it wasn’t “christian” writing) then my life went a bit sideways and I am telling you if I hadn’t had that writing to escape too I might not have made it. Oh goodness, as dramatic as it sounds I think the writing saved me. I know God made my soul to need words. I felt so guilty accepting that truth like I should sacrifice it for the good of those around me, but NO! My soul IS good for the people around me. Oh Julie thank you and welcome to the art-soul club we’re a wonderful different sort.

  • Soul Food | Confessions of a Housewife. - […] four years ago?). If your interested in her blog post (the one that informed this one) check if out HERE I really encourage you […]

  • Robyn Mulder - What a beautiful post. So glad you are finding yourself again. I look forward to reading future posts…and your artwork is beautiful – don’t be afraid to share it!

    I update my blog on Fridays, too (usually somewhere around midnight, but oh well)

    I think I’ve met you at Breathe, but I’m not sure…maybe I’ll see you there next week? ~Robyn

  • Julie - Isn’t it so interesting Jessie … the (false) guilt that accompanies using our gifts? The war is real. The art-soul club. I love it. :) A different sort indeed! I need the support of my fellow different-sorts … they are few and far between in my circles!

  • Julie - Thanks for visiting Robyn! I did meet you at the last Breath I was at! I think it was Breathe 2012 … unfortunately I won’t be there this year, it wasn’t on my radar … maybe the next one!

  • Jennifer Allen - Welcome back, Julie! Loved this post. You put into words what we’ve all felt and continue to feel at sometime or another. We’re in this journey together. Don’t forget that. You’re not alone and you are loved. Can’t wait to read more of your amazing words and stories of the heart. Keeping going! Don’t stop! Don’t ever, ever stop. This world needs your voice. This worlds needs you!

  • Julie - Thanks Jennifer, I appreciate your encouragement! :) You’re right – the world needs more people to live ALIVE! :)

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Every time I do a session in Door County during our annual camping trip up there in the Fall, I am never ever ever disappointed. There is something totally magical about the light there. Maybe it’s just that Fall light, the late season soft sun. The way it peeks through the earth tones of Fall and dapples light wherever it might land. I love trees, I love chasing the light and I love families; put the three together and you’ve got something quite magical indeed!! Wrapping up this family tonight … one near and dear to my heart … I get to do life with this incredible and beautiful woman, she’s one of my best friends, and she trusts me to capture the people she holds most dear. What.a.priviledge.



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I spend a lot of time on instagram. I use it to capture visual moments of gratitude. My feed is a collection of moments that made my heart sing and my effort to freeze time, and beauty, and keep the world a little more lovely and a little less sad. These are a few of my most recent posts … come follow me there! It’s more fun than Facebook!!:)


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