what i’m most looking forward to at breathe.

I’ve been keeping a secret. I’ve been holding it close, fearful of what people might think. After all, my plate is a bit full with … life. Do I really need to juggle one more thing? Only a few very select people know about this because it’s scary. Not the terrible tragic kind of scary, more like a leap-into-unfamiliar-territory kind of scary. I’ve had this nudge to write for a couple of years. I really believe that God has nudged me on several occasions, through comments from others …comments on my blog … comments on my Facebook page. Things like “Julie, have you ever thought of writing a book?” And “Julie, you have a way with words.” and “Julie, you have a story to tell.” These have been repeating themes over the last few years. I’ve brushed it off, not knowing exactly what to do with it, perhaps even scaling back on my blogging, journaling, and other opportunities to write. I’ve been fearful … what if I have nothing to say? What if I’m misunderstood? How is my story any different from anyone else’s journey except that it’s mine? The messages and nudgings have become stronger this year. It’s a call on my life that I need to say “yes” to and trust that God is going to put the words together that need to be shared. I need to walk forward, through this door that is slightly ajar in my heart. I feel like I’m peering around the door, cautiously checking to see what the other side holds. Not knowing what else to do … I prayed and then I Googled. Isn’t that the right and very spiritual order of things? I needed direction.  When I Googled “writer’s conference near Chicago,” what came up was the Breathe Christian Writers Conference right in my old stomping grounds of Grand Rapids. The theme is “What’s Your Story?” It was meant to be.

I’m attending this writers conference this weekend. I’m attending alone. Aside from this little blog that almost no-one reads and personal journals … I’ve never written anything before. I know my grammar and punctuation beg for improvement. I’m going to be in the company of people who are submitting book proposals and writers who have been published. I’m going to be in the company of REAL writers who are looking for encouragement and a breathe of fresh air into their writing lungs. While I know I’m going to get a lot of information, such as where to start and how to get past typical writers fears,  I’m most looking forward to hearing the voice of God in my heart. The One that gives voice to my words. The One that speaks His heart to my soul. I know I’m a good communicator. I know I can craft words to communicate thoughts and feelings well. My assignment may just be to practice my writing through my blog, or journaling … or maybe there really is a story or theme He wants me to pursue. No matter what, I’m going expectant to hear from Him. Something. I will come home with new insight into His purpose for this particular part of my journey, and I can’t wait. I’ve learned through the years that when I go away to things like this expectant to hear from Him, I never hear what I think I’m going to hear about. It’s always something else that I didn’t realize I needed to hear. This weekend I am open to whatever He as for me, although, I do hope it has something to do with writing! I am a photographer, an artist … and maybe … a writer?

Looking forward with expectation …