In an effort to follow through on my desire to write more, I steal away to the library for two hours every Wednesday night with the intent to write. Anything. Last night was no exception except that … I got scared and uncomfortable. Something kept me from confidently pattering away at my keyboard. I don’t know what I’m doing … I don’t know what to write about. So … I thought I would take a picture … I can always find something to photograph! As I moved my surroundings so they would all be in the frame, then clicked, I realized … I was procrastinating.
I was supposed to be writing, but writing is not comfortable for me. And yet, when I’m writing – like now, I love tweaking sentences and finding the best way to communicate whatever it is that’s coming out. I really don’t pre-plan much at all. I wanted to do some soul searching, but I think I was afraid of what I might find. The same thing happens in silence. It’s a little scary to be alone with yourself. When I write about soul stuff … even for my eyes only … I’m a little bit afraid of what will well up from somewhere inside. And so, I did what felt most natural … I took a picture with my phone, which in itself is always a wonderful/ridiculous distraction from anything I would rather not be doing. This happens often … like at this very moment … when I’m supposed to be sitting here … paying bills. I.cannot.resist.distractions.of .that.which.is.way.more.fun.