that mom.

I’m grateful that we are still experiencing some firsts around here. The joy and the rush and the emotion that accompanies “the first time” is so amazing. I want to savor every moment. I can’t believe … I’m the first time mom of a middle-schooler. Am I old enough to have a middle schooler? I feel like such a rookie. He’s learning the ropes of the school … and I’m learning the ropes of allowing a little more independence as well as how to accept that I’m just not very cool. Apparently with all of my life experience – I know nothing about life.*sigh*

Lame first day of school photos … I was rushing it because I wasn’t expecting to get a lot of cooperation … and then … the wrestling ensued. OKAY … is it time yet?

So the boys were off. Goodbye! Peace. Hunter tells me he LOVES middle school and the increased independence. He LOVES changing classes and having a locker. Aidan is adjusting to 4th grade and facing all the girls that like him “for no apparent reason.” Cutie. He acts all annoyed but … I think he sort of likes it.

But then … I experienced my first time being … “THAT Mom.” My mom friends … they’ve told me they get teary at the end of the school year … they’ve told me they get teary the first time they dropped off their first child at preschool, then kindergarten, then their first day of all-day first grade … I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I’ve never cried. Choked up a little maybe … for about a millisecond … but I’ve never actually cried. I’m the kind of mom that loves having her kids around … but loves the growing process and the experiences that come with growth. {Not to mention I love to have a little peace to think one.consistent.thought. and then welcome them home at the end of the day.}

This year was different. As the bus pulled away with my baby girl on it … I was THAT MOM. From somewhere deep inside … a small gasp let itself out. I had to cover my mouth as I actually voiced out loud – “Oh! My baby girl! I love you!”  With our little hand “I love you” symbol held out … and hers back to me. I turned and what began as a gasp suddenly became a small sob. What the heck?! Where did THAT come from? I realized after I recomposed that it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t bear to be apart from her. That wasn’t it at all, I totally celebrate the moving forward and the excitement that goes with a new adventure. I celebrate the milestones of growing up … not only because I love that they are a little less dependent on me, {whew!} but I love watching them blossom even more. The small sob was born out of pride. She started off Wednesday a bit clingy and needy at the “meet the teacher” hour. I was concerned leading up to the first day that she might not actually make it onto the bus without a piece of my body permanently attached to her. No, the sob was born out of how proud I was that she just marched right on that bus with happiness and excitement. And maybe a little bit of wonder that she actually didn’t really need me as much anymore.

This is exactly what I saw when I gasped. She was on cloud nine … and I was in awe. My baby girl. All three have adjusted to the first week of school with flying colors. They are so confident, smart, strong, and all around really good kids. My baby birds are climbing out of the coupe, exploring their branches slowly and gracefully. One day all too soon they are going to be ready to fly. I am one proud mama bird.